Monday, October 23, 2017

Does Courting Happen Any More?

In this day and age, people have so many forms of communication, yet it seems that we are still so disconnected.  There is social media, and tons of dating websites, but there are so many people playing games or not really interested in a relationship, but they are more interested in having sexual relationships with people they do not know rather than courting someone for marriage.  People still do get married, let's just be clear, but they likelihood that the couple have children already or have had a sexual relationship before marriage is extremely high.  There are rare cases when both people are young and still virgins when they get married, but that is not the norm anymore, it is great, but not the norm.  Our society has different definitions placed on dating, and courting almost sounds ancient, because people want to see how someone is in bed before they make their decision to marry someone, but they are not really as concerned about finding out another persons core beliefs, and spending time with someone doesn't seem to be some people's priority.  Some people meet when they are a part of something and they are able to get to know them that way and it might take a long time for them to actually say something, but I find that there are so many single people looking for someone to spend there life with, but not enough people putting the effort to spend time with someone they want to get to know.  There is a lack of men asking women to go out or even giving compliments, now that there is online dating, they rather just look at what they see on a screen and heart on a person rather than talk to a person in person.  I am going to challenge myself to be open to the possibilities of a new relationship, but if it's not real, it's not right for me.  However, I would love to see people have a formula for courtship that is shared mutually.  I know there are lot's of dating sites, so I am going to look for courting sites, ready for marriage sites that might have a different outlook on relationships.

There are free sites for dating like...

Then there are some paid dating sites...

Now here are some courting sites...

I am going to check out the new sites to me and see what happens, maybe the experience will be different as I am pursuing courtship not dating.  If you read this and have experienced any of these websites, leave a comment about your experience, I would like to know how things turned out for you.

Monique Lynelle ...

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Becoming a Champion


Motivation is not something you can see, it's not something you can touch, but it is something you can feel and obtain, but it starts from within.

This year I have been raising awareness for Final Salute Inc. which is an organization that helps at-risk or homeless female Veterans.  The finals for the Ms. Veteran America competition is coming up on October 8, 2017 and I am a finalist.  I was able to complete my first documentary Monique Lynelle's Journey, and had my first show aired on television, The Monique Lynelle Show.  I started my business with Mary Kay as an Independent Beauty Consultant and I'm working on new music.  I'm not saying all this to brag or act like I've got it made, but my life hasn't all been great and some of the struggles are what have made me the overcomer that I am.  I dealt with moving around as a teen to different states so having stable friendships was scarce, but I kept my relationship with my boyfriend at the time and got married really young, but I wasn't mature spiritually and neither was he so when rough times came we tried to survive on passion but it was not enough, and as years went by I found myself in a relationship by myself, so I ended up in my mid twenties divorced and searching for answers.  I worked and went back to school, but I was in yet another destructive, dysfunctional relationship which ended with a sexual assault after dealing with each other for two years.  I ended up getting sick and couldn't work or go to school, and then me and my mom bumped heads and I ended up out on the street, with just enough money to stay at hotels or family members houses or my car.  This wasn't my first rough patch, during my marriage things happened similar where I just had to find a way to survive, but instead of complaining and staying in that situation I reenlisted in the Army and went active duty.  While in the military my dad passed away suddenly of pneumonia in Dec 2008 while I was deployed to South Korea, when just days before I found out I was pregnant.  I was considered high risk being that I had a few early on miscarriages, but this pregnancy was different, but I was told to come back to S. Korea after emergency leave and I made it to 21 1/2 weeks and was able to go back to Fort Hood, TX where we had rear detachment.  Shortly after my return to Texas my water broke and I ended up giving birth April 14, 2009, but my daughter was due August 12, 2009.  My daughter lived 3 hours and 16 minutes and I buried her in my Veteran's plot in TX.  I was devastated, but I was determined to keep going and finished my associate's degree right before my dad passed in 2008, and after my baby passed I chose to go to school to complete my bachelor's degree.  While in school for my bachelor's degree, my mom found out she had stage 4 cancer and she passed away the day after mother's day in 2011.  Talk about battling depression, I was hurt over and over again and I couldn't hold it all together, so as a psychology major, I chose to switch major's and reach out to program for help.  I didn't get much family or friend support at all, I felt all alone like I would die next, but God had a purpose and a plan for my life and now I look at things differently and I am not allowing my hardships to dictate my future.  I was hurt for losing people, having dysfunctional relationships, and being spiritually immature.  Now I have a master's degree, work at NASA via a contractor, have 3 books, 2 music projects, a show, a documentary and film written.  I would love support for the things I'm doing but I know God has given me strength to overcome these things to be stronger for others to see if I could get through things, they can too.  Now I have finished a discipleship program for women and I'm taking classes to become a facilitator, I just finished foster care classes and hope to buy a new home so that I can have a safe place for the children I welcome into my home, as I am selling my parents old home.  Take a look at some of the things God has done in my life as an example of determination, finding purpose and being the change I want to see in this world.  Becoming a Champion!!

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Winning is a Choice from the Start!

Choose to win in your life, by thinking like a winner.  See the goal, take the steps to achieve the goal and go for what want.  No one comes out of the womb winning, but the hard times make you who you are and character and determination are built and it all starts with a thought, then with an action, then with the follow through. It's time to win!

Monique Lynelle Gray

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Organization Making a Difference

Final Salute Inc. is an organization that helps female Veterans in transition, at-risk, or homeless.  It is a shame that there are so many women that have served their country and then when they need help there is no one to lend a helping hand, that is why it is important to support organizations like Final Salute Inc. to exist. There are links to tell you about the founder, and about a few of their other events that help benefit lady Vets in need. They have events like Stand Up, Ms. Veteran America, and more. You can always visit the website at


I just happen to be running for Ms. Veteran America so you can go to to donate and support this organization.  Also, take a look at and 

Take a look at this PSA below. Thanks

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Think Yourself into Your Destiny

There are so many things a person can think about, but when I watched this video I was inspired to see myself where I am going. To reach my potential and my best self I have to see myself being able to overcome the obstacles on the journey to my greatness. There has been no other time in my life like now, so many decisions, so many opportunities, so many obstacles, but I have goals and to achieve those goals, it takes guts, heart, belief not just in myself, but who I am meant to be on this earth. I am a piece of a puzzle and for the puzzle to be completed I have to play my part, be my piece. I have to connect to the piece of the puzzle that belongs next to me for the puzzle to be completed. I can overcome obstacles and so can you, but how willing are you to put in the work to reach your potential. It all starts with a thought, think about it...

Written by Monique Lynelle Gray

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Women's History Month

Women have had to endure so many obstacles throughout the years, whether it was the fight for equal pay in a position or dealing with discrimination before even obtaining a position. Women have become bread winners in families and parenting with no father in the home. It is unfortunate that there are so many single mother's, even if the woman was married previously. Women are business owner's, manager's, doctor's, in Congress, in the military, athletes, musicians, mother's, sister's, daughters, and so much more. There was a question online about "why isn't there a men's month?" When I first saw that I was like "duh," we obviously don't get enough respect, attention, and accolades for the contribution's we have made to this world. Although women have come a long way from the suffrage movement there are still everyday struggles that women endure and have to face daily.

The one thing that a man can never do is be a woman, so at times it is really hard for a man to empathize, but the message of gender equality for women is not to say that we have to do everything a man does to show how much we can conform to being more like a man; rather, we are women, look what we can do even though we are not men. This is not a game of tug-of-war, this is real life, and some women feel like they have to fight for every freedom because it has not always been there. Most women I've met, don't want to stop being a woman, just to be treated fairly, they want to be free to make their own choices concerning how someone treats them, where and how they work, and most importantly be respected in and outside of the home.

I for one am tired of women getting more attention for anything they have ever done sexually and when you have a master's degree and are a small business owner you are discouraged and sometimes treated like you are stupid for doing so. On some occasions women are made to feel like they are bad mother's for having their own career, but if a woman is on welfare and is always asking a man for money she is looked down on like she is a lazy person that is a gold-digger. Women are strong even when we don't have to be and that doesn't mean that we want to be men, but maybe it means, we need stronger men to step up and be there for us while we are being strong.

Being or becoming the woman you are meant to be does not come from being someone that you are not. Be the best you that you can be, this is the year of no limits, and the years to come are beyond that. Become your best you and appreciate who you are and continue to be more, because limitations are things that a person puts ones self. If you never receive any limitations then you take your power back from whomever wants to take it from you. This is your life, so live it with a purpose.

Monique Lynelle Gray

Monday, January 30, 2017

Black History - American History Too!

Black History Month, wow what a subject. Here it is 2017 and some of still are hearing for the first time about the meaning of Black History Month and why it was necessary in the United States of America. Take a look at the clip below, it talks about the origin of the first Negro History Week in 1926, which was started by historian Carter G. Woodson and the prominent minister Jesse E. Moorland who were founders of the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History (ASNLH), this organization supported the idea of the Negro History Week. Black History Facts President Gerald R. Ford officially recognized Black History Month in 1976, calling upon the public to “seize the opportunity to honor the too-often neglected accomplishments of black Americans in every area of endeavor throughout our history.”


Now that people are more educated and understand that African-American people are more than just a color, but there are many different ethnic groups of color in and out of this country. We as people of color have contributed much to this country and this world. As people learn more about who they are and they embrace the world around them, they can realize and celebrate the differences, rather than to condemn someone for their nationality, skin color, or ethnic background. Ignorance is not an excuse any longer, in this world of technology and information highways. There are so many facts that people do not know about that Black/African-Americans have contributed to American History and the world. Take a look at this next clip, it shares some great Black History facts, some people are easily recognized and others might be new to you. Thank you for your time and there is world of information out there, sometimes you have to just take the time to look and you might find a treasure. Have a great Black History Month.
Written by: Monique Lynelle