Monday, June 28, 2021

Monday Motivation - Confidence

Confidence means, "the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust, the state of feeling certain about the truth of something, or a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities." ( Confidence cannot be bought or borrowed, it is something from within, it asks you a question as to what you believe about yourself. When you are confident in yourself, you don't need someone else to validate who you are, you already know and show up with that belief. Having self-confidence reaches down in the depth of a person's soul (mind, will, and emotions) and shows on the outside to others. When someone does not know your worth, does not make you worthless, it just means that they are ignorant to what you are worth. What do you think about yourself? Do you feel good about who you are? If not, what do you plan to do to change that narrative? Today you can make a decision to make yourself a priority and become who you are supposed to be in this world and being timid is not going to get you what you want. Self-esteem is defined as "a confidence and satisfaction in oneself : SELF-RESPECT." ( To become successful this week and any other day starts with how you feel about yourself. Learn things and become proficient and gain confidence, then take a chance on yourself, because if you don't, who will? Monique Lyn elle Gray

Monday, June 21, 2021

Monday Motivation - Bright Future

Bright is defined as a "giving out or reflecting a lot of light; shining, or (of a person, idea, or remark) intelligent and quick-witted." And future is defined as "the time or a period of time following the moment of speaking or writing; time regarded as still to come, or at a later time; going or likely to happen or exist." When I think about a bright future, I think about something that is undeniably successful. It is great to know that the very things you learn through experience and absorb throughout life, you can reflect light without the dark, pain, or shadows to cover the good that you gleaned from your trials. Choose to allow your light to shine bright and reach for your future, which doesn't require putting others down, or being concerned with what others say about you. You can shine bright, you can be your best. Do your part in being your best self, because if you do not, who will? Shine bright! Monique Lyn elle Gray

Monday, June 14, 2021

Monday Motivation - US Army Birthday

U.S. Army Core Values Loyalty. "Bear true faith and allegiance to the U.S. Constitution, the Army, your unit and other Soldiers." Duty. "Fulfill your obligations." Respect. "Treat people as they should be treated." Selfless Service. "Put the welfare of the Nation, the Army and your subordinates before your own." Honor. "Live up to Army values." Integrity. "Do what’s right, legally and morally." Personal Courage. "Face fear, danger or adversity (physical or moral)."
Happy Birthday Army! It was great to be able to serve the country and thanks for your service to all of the service members! Be encouraged to make wise decisions in the face of adversity, knowing it is honorable to protect and serve. Monique Lyn elle Gray, US Army Veteran

Monday, June 7, 2021

Monday Motivation - Overcome

Overcome means "to succeed in dealing with (a problem or difficulty), or defeat (an opponent); prevail, and (of an emotion) overpower or overwhelm." When I think about overcoming, I have to think. I think overcoming starts with a thought. A stategic plan that will help me get over a hump. I plug in to my will to survive, so that I can thrive. I have so much I would like to accomplish, but there is so much I have accomplished, because I am an overcomer. The thing is that there are a whole lot of people that are overcomer's also, but you have to decide if you are going to allow others to dictate where you are going to be or who you are supposed to be. Some things might take longer to accomplish, but once you finish it, you will be relieved, because you knew what it took to accomplish that thing. Sometimes I have to think beyond my weak moments to get to the next moment. I have to be thankful for my now, then I have to set new goals to push myself forward, and then go for it. To be an overcomer, you have to push past the adversity that stands in your way. When you haven't had any struggles or obstables, you cannot even consider yourself an overcomer. So, remember, when you desire to be great, or to be successful, you are going to have test, obstacles, and hills to climb in life. Don't be surprised when you have haters, when you are tired, when people say bad things about you, because that is a part of the process. To overcome, it means to give yourself a chance to win by making priorities that will get you to a goal. You have to face fear, adversity, strife, doubt, failure to overcome. Pick and choose your battles and you can win the war. Decide what is worth fighting for and go for the things that matter. Overcome today! Written by Monique Lyn elle Gray

Monday, May 24, 2021

Monday Motivation - Resilience

Resilience is defined as "the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness, and the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity," according to Oxford Languages.
In life, resilience is one of those things that is easier said than done. Resilience is a word for people who have endured strenuous pain and have decided not to give in or give up. Resilience can't be bought at a store or given as a gift, it means you have to go through something to get to the other side of it. Resilience reveals the soul of a person and what they are made of, the determination of the will to thrive and not just survive, propelling someone forward in their life, in the face of adversity. It is strength without limitations, but endurance and peseverance without knowledge of when the struggle will let up. Resilience is more than a word, it is an action, it requires you to do something, to believe in yourself, to overcome obstacles, to be ready, so you won't have to get ready. Resilience is in the experience and it calls for all of us to dig deeper, find out what you are made of by trying, then doing, and not looking back for excuses to be your pillows of comfort. Resilience is a state of mind before it becomes a reality. Choose to have Resilience. Be Resilient Today. Monique Lyn elle Gray

Monday, May 17, 2021

Monday Motivation - Rejection (How to deal with it)

Rejection is defined as "the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea, etc. or the spurning of a person's affections." Rejection happens to a lot of us, but sometimes when someone rejects you that could be the thing that fuels you to move in the direction God really wants you to go. Sometimes you don't need to be a part of a certain group or to be a person that follows. You could be called to lead, called to do something different and you won't fulfill your destiny being a part of someone else's dream. What you are called to do in this life is not always accepted by people that see you as a threat, so don't let the rejection define you, Fight Back with Success! Have a great week and don't give up on yourself. Monique Lyn elle Gray

Monday, May 3, 2021

Monday Motivation - Perspective

Marriam Webster defines perspective as "1 : the angle or direction in which a person looks at an object. 2 : point of view. 3 : the ability to understand what is important and what isn't I know you're disappointed, but keep your perspective." Perspective is defined as "a way of regarding situations or topics etc. or the appearance of things relative to one another as determined by their distance from the viewer." "Perspective has a Latin root meaning "look through" or "perceive," and all the meanings of perspective have something to do with looking. If you observe the world from a dog's perspective, you see through the dog's eyes. In drawing, perspective gives your drawing the appearance of depth or distance. If we say someone "has perspective," we mean she has a sensible outlook on life."
I think perspective in life helps you see how you look at things. People that are in the same room can all have a different perspective, because they see things from their own point of view. Depending on where someone stands in a room will dictate how they see something or someone else in the room. Everyone's perspective matters, but when you are able to empathize with someone else, you can better understand their perspective, which could change your opinion of someone or something else. I think more of us need to embrace a broader perspective to gain more understanding and to be more empathetic or sympathetic to others and their needs in life. Perspective can be underrated, but with the right one, you can see the glass full instead of the glass half empty. Challenge yourself to look at something this week from someone else's perspective, and ask yourself, how would I feel if I were in their situation or position? Perhaps this will help you to treat others better in your life or around you. Have a great day and week.

Monday, April 26, 2021

Monday Motivation - Keep Climbing
Some people have hills to climb, others have mountains, either way the journey starts with one step and leads to many. Looking back should be a reminder of how far you've come, not something that pulls you down. Looking forward should be hopeful for what you will accomplish. Learning from the past, enjoying the moment, and pressing toward your future should help you climb your hills and mountains. One step at a time. I hope you keep climbing and you can achieve greatness. Monique Lyn elle Gray

Monday, April 5, 2021

Monday Motivation - Commitment

Commitment means "the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc." according to the Oxford Languages Dictionary. Commitment means so much more than a word that is attached to something you have to do, it is something that takes dedication and devotion. Some people are afraid to commit, because they are scared of failing. I realized that the things I have accomplished in my life, the relationships that lasted for a duration of time or throughout the years were things or people I commited to or I valued the time I put in to that particular thing or person. Okay, I know that might seem vague, but I was able to look at what something meant in my life and I made it a priority. When I didn't put time or effort into something, I didn't get the result I desired. I have never been afraid to commit to a process, but I realized that everything cannot be a priority at all times. Time management, setting goals, being determined to do something are all part of the process, but if you cannot commit to something you want in life, it will be hard to commit to another person or a relationship. When you have commited to working out, or eating a certain way, that is external, but it can help you build a mindset. If you commit to a job, or a team, it is still an outward action, but others are depending on you in these scenarios. When you commit to God or to pray, you are building your inner muscle and helping yourself to stay centered, which builds your spirit and soul. When you want a commitment, you should be willing to commit to something yourself. This applies to my life also. I have to continue to set new goals, and commit to things I place value in to get the results I would like in my life. My encouragement to all that read this is, to choose what you want in life for yourself and commit to it. I hope this is something positive that will enhance your life and help you fulfill your purpose. Do not let fear of failure stop you from commiting to something that is worth investing in. Monique Lyn elle Gray

Monday, March 29, 2021

Monday Motivation - Work

All work is not valued, but if you value your work, it can make a difference. Life is not going to work for you, if you are not willing to do work in it. Lot's of people have jobs, but what do you have to offer to your career, your job, your life's work? Work on yourself being whole and you will have something to offer others, because you have a purpose and you have to value you, so others will value you. Have an awesome week everyone! Monique Lyn elle Gray

Monday, March 8, 2021

Monday Motivation - Quality

When I think of quality, I think of the value of something or someone and what that thing or person can bring to the table to add or enhance my life or a situation. Quality is defined as "the standard of something as measured against other things of a similar kind; the degree of excellence of something." Quality is also defined as a distinctive attribute or characteristic possessed by someone or something," according to definitions from Oxford languages. When I was younger I told my parents I wanted to be a doctor and as I grew older, I started to changed my mind. My parents wanted all of their children to attend college and be successful at whatever career we chose. I have an older sister that graduated from Law School and when she graduated my parents bought her a car, so that was a big deal, and later on I asked my parents, when I graduate from cosmetology school would I get a car. Well, the answer was "No", so of course I asked, why not. My mother told me that they have a standard and they wanted all of us to graduate from college, and I explained that I might never go to college, but I plan to have a career, doesn't that count. At the time I did not understand, and I thought that was rather harsh, but it really was because they wanted the best for all of us and wanted us to be prepared for the world and they knew my other goals involved getting a degree. My feelings were hurt and I just thought that I would not live up to the standards they set and they would never want to buy me a car. My older brother graduated with an undergraduate degree and I graduated from cosmetology school and had joined the US Army Reserves first and later re-enlisted for Active Duty Army. My value was still quality, but if someone's standards are different than your goals, it does not mean that you are not a quality person, or your choices are not quality, it just means that you value different things than they do at any given time. I ended up completing my Associate's degree while I was on Active Duty in the Army and I was deployed to South Korea. A few weeks later I lost my father, so he never saw me graduate, and I was able to go back to the States in Texas and be a part of the graduation, but I lost my daughter a month before my graduation and none of my family was there. I am saying all this to say, I achieved some of the goals I set out to achieve, but felt like a failure in life because of all of my losses. I was divorced, lost my dad and my child within 4 months, but I got my degree anyway. My quality of life still was not where I wanted it to be, but I was determined to continue on with my life in the midst of my grief. I later got my Bachelor's degree, my Master's degree, and I have taken Doctoral classes. I lost my mother a year before I completed my Bachelor's degree, so she never saw me graduate, and that really hurt me, because I really wanted to make my parents proud of me, but I had to do what I chose to do for my life. The standards I set for myself, might be bigger or larger than someone else's, but I learned that I set that bar for myself and what I value is important to me. I want God to be proud of me and I want to use my gifts and talents to reach others and hopefully inspire them to be their best selves. Quality is important, but each person has something that that value more than another thing, and because I value myself and the things I have to offer this world, I consider myself a quality person, and I am enough for me, and I can always improve on things as long as I live. Be encouraged to find the quality in yourself that you seek in others. Have a awesome week. Monique Lyn elle Gray

Monday, February 22, 2021

Monday Motivation - Focus

Focus is defined as "a center of activity, attraction, or attention and a point of concentration," according to Merriam Webster Dictionary.
When the topic of focus came to mind for today's post, I thought about how many distractions can happen throughout the day and how many things you can allow to take you away from being productive in your life, and it made me think about what the solution is to rid distractions, and it is focus. As a person who has accomplished quite a few things throughout my life, I realized the way I was able to complete anything was to see my end goal, and stay focused on the reason I needed to complete the process it took to achieve that goal. For example, years ago I made a decision to become a cosmetologist and I worked, went to school full time, and was married at 18, with no children. It was hard for me to receive much for financial aid, because I had a husband at the time, and by the summer of 1997 I was working 2 jobs and in school full time. Needless to say, I was experiencing burn out, so instead of complaining, I decided to join the Army Reserves to obtain money finish school and be in the career of my choice, but first I would be required to complete Basic Training and Advanced Individual Training (AIT). Anyone who is in the military or former military understands that this process is not as easy as it might sound. I had long days, early mornings, and drill sergeants yelling and giving orders or commands. Some days I got tired, but I was able to get through the rough days, because I had a goal and I wanted to protect and serve, but I also wanted to fund my education. When I put my mind to it and decided I am going to finish this process, I was able to not let it break me mentally, physically or emotionally, because I stayed focuesed on the goal. I was able to complete basic training and AIT, and then I came back home to drill each month. Of course, life through me curve balls, my marriage was shaky, I got pregnant and lost my baby at 8 weeks during my marriage and I was only 19 by then, it was discouraging and distracting from my goal. I started working again, because we needed the money and then I realized I did all of that stuff and did not complete my initial goal yet, so I had to re-focus and I went back to cosmetology school and completed my classes and finished school at the end of 1999. I was then given an opportunity to do hair on a military base in Germany and it worked out great for me to take that opportunity, because my personal relationship was not supporting my goals, but because I already was in the Reserves, it was so much easier for me to get on and off base with my ID, and I planned to stay for a few months and come back and get my license in the States. I had an opportunity to stay for a year, but I did not want to leave my marriage in the balance, so I tried to tend to that relationship and continue with my career goals in the States. In 2000, I was licensed in Washington DC, and in 2002 I was able to receive reciprocity in Maryland and later in Pennsylvania, as I moved for personal reasons. The point of my story is to stay focused on your goal and the process will seem so much easier. And it is so much better to be with someone that supports your goals, because if they do not, you will be distracted by them and could jeopardize you reaching your goals, but when you are supported, you could propel further than you could ever imagine. I could not have accomplished anything if I did not lean on God at some point in my life, and having a code of ethics, or a priority code is key to success. For me, it is God first, family second, and my career third, but sometimes family could be in the way of you fulfilling your destiny, so you have to decide whether they have your best interest at heart. Stay focused and have a great week. Monique Lyn elle Gray

Monday, February 8, 2021

Monday Motivation - Peace of Mind

Peace and Peace of Mind
Peace is defined in a number of ways, so today I am going to take the time to share with you a few definitions and explain why Peace is so important. Today's topic was sparked by a sermon I just listened to on Sunday, and it reminded me of how important Peace is and how having Peace of Mind can help you through all kinds of circumstances in life. According to Merriam-Webster Peace is defined as "1 : a state of tranquility or quiet: such as. a : freedom from civil disturbance Peace and order were finally restored in the town. b : a state of security or order within a community provided for by law or custom a breach of the peace." According to Cambridge, Peace is defined as "the state of not being interrupted or annoyed by worry, problems, noise, or unwanted actions, along with, "freedom from war and violence, especially when people live and work together happily without disagreements." Peace is defined by as, "1 the normal, nonwarring condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world. 2 (often initial capital letter) an agreement or treaty between warring or antagonistic nations, groups, etc., to end hostilities and abstain from further fighting or antagonism: 3 a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, especially in personal relations: 4 the normal freedom from civil commotion and violence of a community; public order and security:" When a person is in a war, literally, they are not experiencing peace, but having peace of mind is something that a person can choose to have within. Years ago while I was stationed at Fort Hood, TX, things were going on all around me and I saw people deploying and coming back from various war zones and I wrote a song called "Peace" placing value on having peace, asking who really has it and can I have it. I was coming from a standpoint of a soldier at war and the way you feel during a time that is chaotic. I am sure people around the world understand so much more what it looks like to experience civil, social and personal unrest, so most of us would embrace peace of mind, even if our circumstances are not welcoming peace. Pastor Keith Battle spoke at my church on Sunday, February 7, 2021 and entitled his message "The Journey to Peace" and for those who know me and know I am big on the topic of journey's in one's life, thus, one of my books and documentary with the word. The Pastor gave some great advise about getting to peace, he said "you have to have trust, prayer, thanks, and abide in the Lord." Now some people might embrace my belief, but there are some things that we all desire universally and inner strength and peace come from having a desire to have those things and being deligent about having it in your life. I think you cannot truly have joy if you don't welcome peace in your life. I encourage everyone to seek inner peace and welcome that fruit of the Spirit in your life. I welcome peace and peace of mind in my life in the midst of chaos and distress. Have a great week and welcome peace. Monique Lyn elle Gray Peace the song -

Monday, February 1, 2021

Monday Motivation - Love The Skin You Are In

Love The Skin You Are In
When each of us were born, we had the largest organ of our bodies showing, it is our skin. No matter what color your skin is, you were born, and no matter how you were raised, you were raised with your skin. Today I want to encourage everyone to love the skin you are in because it is uniquely your skin. February is Black History Month and there are so many things that come to mind about the history of color relations in the United States. My hope is that we could look past judging someone for the color of their skin, and instead we should be able to embrace the differences that we experience, because of our skin color or ethnic group. I will not say to be color blind, because culture, ethnicity, and color is a very important part of someone's experience. Many times people do not take the time to understand someone elses background, because they do not think it should play a role in who they have become, or why they behave the way that they do concerning race or ethnic background interaction. I say, your personal history and experiences make up who you become in life and the way one acts or behaves concerning people that are different than them, especially concerning race, is a learned, taught, or observed behavior. We as humans need to understand that we are made up of more than just our skin, and how we behave is just as important as our outward appearance. I was able to go to Fort Sam Houston when I was stationed at Fort Hood in Texas and the hospital at Fort Sam Houston had military members that had just come back from war situations and they were wounded. I have never experienced something so impactful in my life. I saw service members with limbs missing, parts of their skin off of their face, and other body parts, in wheel chairs, with bandages everywhere, so much so that it was hard to tell which race or ethnic background they belonged to. I say all this to say, did it really matter to me which race they were? Of course not, because they were brave enough to put their self in harms way for other fellow Americans to continue to enjoy freedoms and rights as humans. I served my country in the Army also, but I did not have to lose my limbs, and I am thankful to those who were brave enough to put their lives on the line for others to be free. By being exposed to things like this, it helps me to realize how stupid racism can be, how much it does not make someone's soul brave. I saw people's hearts, not their skin color. I saw people's bravery, not their ethnic group and I showed compassion, and thanked them for their service, although I was still serving. Some of them will never be the same and in some ways I will never be the same either. My experiences make me who I am and the more I am exposed to others, the more I understand where they are coming from and how they have become who they are. I say loudly and proudly to LOVE THE SKIN YOU ARE IN! We are all different and we are supposed to be, just know that you are not a mistake and neither is your skin. Monique Lyn elle Gray